Wednesday, September 5, 2012

Anger at the Root



It all came rushing back

the anger against them
the anger against God
images of lost family members
resentments boiling up after years of peace

He had to stop preaching to these criminals; he had to go pray.

If anyone had a right to be angry, he did.  He had lost over 100 family members in the genocide.  And here he was preaching to the perpetrators--maybe even the ones who had killed his brothers and nieces and cousins.  Anger welled up in him as the words of God touched their hearts and they were moved to repent.  Like the prophet Jonah who was called to preach to his enemies that they might repent and that God might have mercy, Robert was not happy to be sharing God's word at that moment.  He left the prison in the middle of his sermon.  He walked out, climbed a neighboring hill and talked to God as he looked down on the fences and walls and guards and criminals.



Why should they receive mercy?!?
They took no pity on my family!
Why are you extending your grace to them Lord? 
And why do I have to be your instrument?

If our identity changes as Christians, then that change reaches into our affections, rights and responsibilities.  It has been noted that the Sermon on the Mount, as it broadens and deepens God's commands against adultery and murder to include both lust and anger, paints a picture of a man or woman so thoroughly changed that he or she naturally does what is impossible. 

Jesus reminds his hearers of the commandments and then expands them:
You have heard that it was said to those of old, ‘You shall not murder; and whoever murders will be liable to judgment.’ But I say to you that everyone who is angry with his brother will be liable to judgment.
and 
You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart.







How can I come to a place where I keep God's commands from the depths of my stony heart?  

How is it that the rocky ground, that place where God's word doesn't seem able to penetrate, is finally yielded up and given over to new life?  

The rocks are there!  My heart pushes back in protest:  "Jesus' words don't apply to me--after all, when I am angry I am most often justifiably angry." 

But then I wonder how often God the Father might have been justified in anger towards me?  I wonder how many hundreds of times I have lied, even after hearing his command not to?  Or lusted...Or dishonored my parents...Or coveted, stole, committed murder in my thoughts or broken the two great commandments
Love the Lord your God with all your heart, mind and soul
and 
Love your neighbor as yourself
If he were to judge me with the strictness with which I pretend to judge others, I would be dead.  So justification of my anger will not let me off the hook.

My heart rebels again:  "even if Jesus' words do apply to me, they seems rather unrealistic.  I am not in control of my emotions.  It seems idealistic to believe that anger or lust could be controlled doesn't it?"

But Jesus is not addressing emotions; rather he addresses motions of the heart--small seed-like choices the heart makes which bear fruit of one kind or another later on.   When I sin in anger, it is the fruit of resentment that has taken hold of my heart.  "I was owed respect but not given it; I will demand it now," my heart thinks.  

I wonder what the proportion of disrespect (them to me vs me to God) is?  I probably disrespect God about a thousand times more than one other person disrespects or sins against me because while I am with another only for a short time, God is always with me.  And the honor due him as creator is even greater than the honor due to a human--even though that human is made in the image of God.  When I look at it this way, I see how remarkable it is that God is merciful to me.  
Jesus caps this teaching off with the goal--that we would become like our Father in heaven.  
You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, so that you may be sons of your Father who is in heaven.  He makes his sun to shine on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the just and the unjust.

He sends rain; he makes the sun shine.  He also plants his word deep in our hearts to transform us from the dusty dead soil we are to the new creation he makes us to be.  



Robert went back into the prison knowing the great forgiveness which he was receiving from the Lord was a living force inside of him.  He finished his sermon.  People did repent and receive the mercy of God. 


Father, forgive me for the rights I so stubbornly cling to:  the right to resent; the right to be sarcastic; the right to hold a grudge; the right to demand what is owed me in anger.  You don't resent me...nor do you hold grudges but you demonstrate your love in giving me your son.  So change my heart that I might live like him who loves his enemies and prays for those who persecute him.